Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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