When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
