We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
