capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
