I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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