This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
