do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
