We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
