I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
whose ass print is on the piano?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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