there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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