OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
