i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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