so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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