Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
