It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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