pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
