he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize