she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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