I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
