"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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