Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
