I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my being single is dangerous.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
