I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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