All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
