Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
a search helicopter?!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
