There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
