I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
