Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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