Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
