I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
