just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
