I love black thongs
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
