i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize