are you still at the devil's house?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize