i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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