We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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