Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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