That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
