Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
