If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
