Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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