Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
