I hate all girls vehemently.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
