I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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