I bet he comes in French.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
