I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
