Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker

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(972): View more from Texas

Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.

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(785): View more from Kansas

That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.

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(631): View more from New York

Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital

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(207): View more from Maine

Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...

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(970): View more from Colorado

Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.

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(703): View more from Virginia

i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.

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