So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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