This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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