First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
