I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
