my vag is so smooth its legendary
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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