Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
