just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
