his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
