There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
