If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
