I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
