The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
