I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
