how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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