eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
