You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Everclear isn't food dammit
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
