We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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